Just Drop The Leash For 5 Minutes…Please??

I like to think if I've taught these two anything, it's that you always have to be on the alert. Tonight on the walk, Thelma let me choose the course we took, so naturally I led us along the block w/the big dog that always sits on the stoop and charges down the stairs and barks like mad whenever I walk in front of his house. The funny thing is, Thelma always jumps! The dog's fur is almost all black so she usually doesn't see him, but I know how to ignore those big, loud barks. The same way I ignore those little yippy dogs, yelping their squeaky squeeze toy barks while they strain at the leash and stand on their skinny rear legs and tiny hind paws. It's pretty funny. I don't pay them any attention while they pretend they're tough; I just walk on past.

But really, I wanted to walk by the public school nearby and sneak up on the 3 cats that like to lounge by the shrubs out front and in the playground in the back. It bugs me that they don't have to remain on any stupid leashes & get to run around all night or sneak under the fence or loll around all unsuspecting, like they have no idea I'm watching them, ready to pounce. Aunt Corinne says I shouldn't sweat the cats because even though they get to run around unleashed, they don't have the freedom we dogs have and they don't get to cover as much ground as we do. We get to run around the Long Meadow & the Nethermead in Prospect Park, which cover I don't know how many dozens of acres. Plus I get to go swimming on the Peninsula--cats don't even like water. (Dumb dirty cats.) Cats get to walk across the street and amble through their neighbors' backyards. Big whoop.

The P.S. cats weren't out front tonight, so I got the idea to walk down our old block & steered us in that direction. After cruising past the playground, we kept walking and I sniffed around a parked car, like I often do. While Thelma was looking around & making sure no one was sneaking up on us, I sniffed out a kitty & I LEPT toward it! The cat froze, terrified of the imminent doom just a yard away from its fat face and itty bitty nose. But then Thelma jerked me away and pulled me down the block! Oh yes she did!

Why won't she just drop the leash for 5 minutes and let me run at full-speed and catch her a fat, fluffy cat?? I can chase it down, tire it out, catch it & carry it home by its stupid scruff in my great big--but gentle--mouth. The cat will know I'm the boss and…well, what else is there? Why would Thelma and Louise want to have a shedding, mewling kitty litter sitter around? Cats don't *do* anything, what's the point? Yeah, i guess that's why they keep me away from them. They understand how boring cats really are.

My people sure are smart.