Just Don't Call Me Gilligan.

Seeing as I was once a grateful foster dog, you might think I'd be receptive to the idea of sheltering a pup that's in between homes. But you'd be wrong. I mean, I get along great w/other dogs and I like playing with them and swimming with them and racing them in the park and stuff, but the last time--the one time--a dog came to stay with us, I didn't like it much. Sophie, a French Bulldog, spent a week here while her human (Kevin, a friend of Louise's) went on a business trip. Sophie was sweet & we had a great time, wrestling in front of the TV, chasing each other around and eating out of each other's food dishes (alright, she never got to mine) until I saw her stupid little green upholstered bed in our bedroom & I realized she was STAYING OVERNIGHT. Then, the next day, she wanted to play with one of my TOYS. It didn't matter that Thelma had dug it out from the depths of my toy chest & I hadn't seen it, much less played w/it, in months--it was still MY TOY! So I had to tell Soph what time it was & I snatched it from her little front paws and took it into the kitchen & sat in a corner and played w/it by myself. Thelma carried on so much about how mean I was acting and the look in "Sophie's big, sad eyes" that I wanted to bite them both.

So anyway, the lady from the Brooklyn foster animal place called & said there's a 7-y.o. Chow named Skipper that needs a foster home and would we be interested? Aren't Chows the dogs that look like enormous fur hats with pointy noses & black tongues? And aren't they kinda…snappish? I can get along w/just about any doggie--I'm a lover, not a fighter, after all--but I'm not so sure about those guys. I don't see them shagging fly balls in the park or diving in at Dog Beach. Will I have to share my sleeping cushion w/Skipper? And does that mean we'll have to set up the fan in the bedroom to blow a nice little breeze on him too? (There I go again, talking like a spoiled only child. I can't help it…'cause that's what I AM.)

Every doggie deserves a loving home, so I guess I'll go along with it. But really, they could at least have asked me. And with so many dogs out there waiting to be placed, couldn't they find something other than a snooty, big-headed Chow? (What, is that so wrong??)