Friends, I am wasting away. A few months ago, Dr. Quack told T&L I was overweight. After I bit him in the left buttock, he apologized for the insult. No, what really happened was after he called me fat, I got less food. Despite my pleas, the humans wouldn’t increase the measly portions at mealtime. Sure I got more carrots and peas and broccoli and bananas and apples, but no *real* food. Now, T&L are in agreement that I am ill—they said I have “a waste.” That’s what I’ve been telling them, I’m wasting away! Louise even pointed out the one symptom worse than my chronic stomach growl: while acknowledging I have “a waste,” she said my barrel chested physique is now marked by a noticeable narrowness in the middle. Uh, hello? That’s a sign on “the waste!” And that means I need more food.
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