I ama "persona non grata" -- in my own home!!

You guys, I am in exile—in my own home!  And it’s not even my fault!  Last night I was sleeping under the stars on my deck when I heard something fat & ugly rustling in the backyard.  So Louise agreed to wake up & let me outside & I went on the attack.  I take my guard duties very seriously & I am on-call 24 hours a day.  But what I didn’t expect was to see an ARMED, fat, skunk-striped cat cowering behind the bushes.  It Maced me, yo!  Seriously!  While I was blinded, it ran off & I staggered into the house.  Then Louise wouldn’t let me upstairs!  She & Thelma ran around mopping & wiping & yelling “I can’t believe it!!” & dousing me w/some liquid—and then they made me sleep on the patio all night!  I know!  I’m calling the ASPCA tomorrow--they really shouldn’t be off on holidays, considering that marauding cats don’t take days off from being a menace to the neighborhood—and reporting this vile creature.  In the meantime, however, I’m not allowed in the kitchen or the bedroom or upstairs or anywhere.  And I didn’t even DO anything!!!  (Anyway, this is what the cat looked like.  Don’t let the smile fool you!)