Uh, I can hear you, Dr. Quack!

Why do Thelma & Louise continue to drag me to Dr. Quack’s office if all he’s gonna do is insult me?  Today he said I’m going senile.  And my back legs are funny.  And my breath stinks.  And my teeth are cracked.  And my toenails are weird.  And a few more libelous things behind my back, I’m sure.  Really, if I’m such a mess, I don’t know what kept him from shooting me on the spot.  He must get paid by the slur.  As a wise man (and Thelma) once said, “It is more important to look good than to feel good.”  Fortunately, I look *and* feel gorgeous.